still here (sort of)

I'm still here, just wondering what to do with this blog of mine - close it, archive it or start a new one.
In the meantime, for more recent updates, follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/gbeyers

Waving

Start. Stop. Wait. Wave. Start.

Life seems to go forward in starts and stops. Sometimes it even appears as if it is going backwards. But, as a recent labyrinth experience reminded me, life leads us to the centre in a roundabout way. And, most of life and growth actually happens in the turns, and the times when you are seemingly on the outside going backwards.

“We walk slowly, as if we will never arrive, for we come from a place far away."
My Oupa (granddad) died on Sunday.

He was 85 years old, and left us in dramatic circumstances. He was a wonderfully creative woodworker and I have great memories watching him sculpt beauty from a rejected wooden stump. He taught us manners and principles, and enthralled us with stories about ‘Dinky the dwarf’ and true stories of South African heroes. Predicting the future careers of his five grandchildren, he said that my sisters would be world famous actresses, and Matthew and I would be their bodyguards. Fortunately we would be towering hulks, whose shoulders filled doorways, and had to duck into rooms. He wasn’t far off - my sisters are beautiful, and Matt almost ducks through doorways. At 82 Oupa was beating me on the squash court. It might be more of a testimony to my lack of squash skills than Oupa’s agility, but anyone who can hit a squash ball at 82 has done well! He lived a full life as a farmer, teacher, musician, woodworker and story teller, and shall be missed. I often use examples from his life in my conversations, as testimony that anything is possible, and I shall continue to do so.

Fare well Oupa. I’m planning to make something out of wood as a cathartic goodbye ritual. Maybe I’ll make two - one for him and one for me, and then bury or burn the first one. Whenever I do woodwork I shall think of Jacobus Petrus Grove - my Oupa.

Stop. Wait. Wave.

I flew up to Joburg last night, and the funeral is in White River on Friday. I was hoping to get to see my family in the near future, but not under these circumstances. I’ll make the most of the time here, and enjoy the lack of rain. I fly back to Cape Town on Saturday, and then off with Julie to Seattle for two and a bit weeks of holiday and future snooping things. She won this incentive trip at work, so it’s even more enjoyable that it is free. Hopefully it will be a chance to reflect on those who've gone before me, and the path left for me to walk.

"Look ahead. You are not expected to complete the task. Neither are you permitted to lay it down." ~ The Talmud

the verdict?

'So, how was South Africa?'
I've been asked this question multiple times over the last two days. I smile and nod and probably put my hands in my pockets in shyness. 'It was really really good', I say. I can't really explain it except to say that it was good. Good to see my family, so be in summer, to sit in traffic on the right hand side of the road, to braai, not to be the odd one out etc. Jo'burg felt really fast, and that i hardly touched base with anyone, but it was a welcome break. Cape Town was a bit slower: I saw Lu and Natalie, went to church with Paul&Helen, played frisbee with Disconnect, and hung out with Julie's siblings.

I was chatting to a fellow student today about my options for next year. I said that i was working out some possibilities (either an internship with Iona, or a CPE in the States).
She also asked me a question:
"You don't have a girlfriend back home waiting for you to finish though?"

Ouch! Maybe Valentines day precipitated the relationship question, but it was a very apt question. Half of the time in SA I spent in Cape Town with Julie.
'And... how was it?' you ask.
'It was really really good', is all I can really say here too. Every day got better, and it was horrible to leave, but we are both thinking of ways to be together soon. Where that will be is any one's guess at the moment. We are both challenged to live expansively and boldly, so that means trying to find exciting options to follow.
Any advice out there on this Valentine's day?

i miss...

... Christmas with my family.

I guess that's one of the prices to pay being in a far off land - you can't get home to have a great Christmas lunch in warm summery weather with parents, siblings and friends. Seems like they (the Beyers and Da Silva families) had a good time, even though two of the kids (Bianca and I) were MIA.

the beyers and the da silva's christmas lunch.
Mat (with new black hair) and Rich had to put up with a lot of females :) Dad was watching the fire i guess.

NEWS JUST IN:
Luckily I will get to see some of the SA summer (and escape the worst of ATL's winter) - I am the proud new owner, thanks to generous help from Julie, of one ticket to SA! I leave as soon as the winter term finished, and have a week in Jo'burg with my family, and a week in Cape Town with Julie and friends. I have a sneaking suspicion that i will realise how much i needed this trip home when i actually get there and the pressure of being a 'foreigner' vanishes.

So friends... chat to my secretary ;) and hopefully we can meet up in Jo'burg or Cape Town for a game of Ultimate/ a visit to Mugg and Bean/or an evening in Melville. Lemme know! I'm really looking forward to it!

shuffling G

I finally gave in and am now the proud new owner of a teeny-tiny music machine:

There aren't any Mugg&Beans, N1 traffic, Cinema Nouveaus or familiar skylines here to run to when i'm feeling displaced, so... i listen to music instead. The music i have here i brought from home, so it comes with comforting memories from South Africa. The support structures i associate with the songs help me feel more at home in this strange place.

Last night i lay listening to Damien Rice and it transported me back to winter mornings at Jono's house - 62 Sauvignon, Bromhof: the site of early morning squash games with Vaughn; Young Adult braais; fresh paninis with basil, mozarella and tomato; and my rocking chair in the afternoon sun.

The ipod shuffle is great! It is really small and holds 250 songs. The palylist i've filled it up with for now has:

Arno Carstens, The Avett Bros, Ben Folds Five, Collective Soul, Counting Crows, The Cranberries, Damien Rice, David Gray, Freshlyground, Jack Johnson, Jamie Cullum, Jose Gonzalez, Matt Allison, The Narrow, REM, Simphiwe Dana, Sufjan Stevens, U2, White Lie and Yann Tiersen.

Yay for music!

Go well Rita

Rita Bruce (a wonderfully vivacious and creative and family friend) passed away at 9am (SA time) today. She had a broken heart (from a whole bunch of not-lekker traumas) and was waiting for a heart transplant. Now she has a new heart, but we can't share it with her. She was a great hostess, made wonderful tapestries and jewelery, liked my voice and always tried to kiss my brother ;)

My folks are driving down to Cape Town now to be with Brian and for funeral things. Apparently all flights are full for the long weekend. Travel safely.

Travel safely Rita.